Unsuccessful.

Well now i've received word that my appeal is unsuccessful. And i wonder to myself, have i lost hope? What is to become of my tomorrow without hope?

A myriad of emotions plague me despite my seemingly unbreakable exterior. Many people were expecting me to get in, yet i didn't. i don't think it's guilt i feel, because guilt is experienced when i've done something wrong. Instead, it's probably shame. Shame that i just wasn't good enough, and fell short of people's expectations. But that just goes to show that it's not men i'm pleasing, but God.

God closes many doors, and has been for a long time. i can only pray that He'll show me the path to take, despite seemingly leading me on toward NUS and then closing it then and now.

i've lost the hope to get into Yong Loo Lin Medical School. But faith, i won't. i can only apply the words of Proverbs 3:5-6. And that is to trust in the LORD with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make my paths straight.

Perhaps my journals serve more to encourage myself than updating you readers of my life.